Indecisive soul

Take a deep breath. Breath in, breath out. Do the same thing over and again, it might help you regain your composure, I remember one of my close friend telling me to try it when I am angry.  I took my hands over my face and rubbed it with my palm wishing it take away my problems. It does relieved me for a sec, but only to feel the problems again the next second. I tried breathing in and out, believing it might bring my concentration back. But I can feel this battle for composure inside my head slipping away from my hand as frustration made it’s way in with triumph and glory.

Filled with frustration and anger, getting irritated over small issues. I told myself this is not going right. Am I handling my emotions the right way? Contemplating my situations, I sat on the chair lying next to my study table. Folding my hand and resting my elbow on the table, I kept my face over my hand and was breathing indecisively about what to do. Just then I saw my mom making her way inside my room and I tried hard not to tremble and gave her a big broad welcoming smile. At least, that was what I thought I did,  yet she said your smile ain’t that welcoming? What’s the problem? You seemed troubled? I shook my head, and said it’s okay mom, I’m doing fine. Mom was not ready to believe me and tried digging it deeper looking for a clue. I reminded her that I’ve already  said I’m okay and I’m doing fine, I was trying to persuade mom into believing an explanation that was not true. Better keep it that way, I wisphered to myself.

I wanted to tell her what exactly was going on in my life. I really wished I had someone to share about what I’m going through, but I’m not that person who wouldn’t just share my problems with anyone. It takes time for me to share, express and talk.

And like I’ve said I’m not really interested in sharing my problems with people.

Thank you for reading.